Thursday--- it means the week is almost over and this week, that is a very good thing. It also means I have to meet with the dean and my co-worker to discuss his poor work performance. We all have days that we dont do as much as we could or should. He has more than most. I think part of what bothers me the most about the whole thing is how strongly I have let his poor work ethic affect mine. I am normally a hard worker-- too hard sometimes, because I set a pace that I cannot realistically maintain. Since we embarked on this employment journey over the summer, I have watched my own work ethic and conduct slip below what I would accept from an employee of mine-- and now I have to drop the hammer on him while feeling much like I deserve at least a measure of the same.

Knowing that he is the sole support (by choice) for his family makes this all the more difficult. Add to that the fact that we are the only two steady employees here-- so if there are hard feelings, there is really no where to go to avoid the source while one sorts them out. This will be his 3rd negative review-- I have no idea if the others are "official"-- or merely amount to "a good talking to".

I know this job is more than I can do alone. It seems as though he posseses many of the skills that I lack. He is a kind and pleasant individual that is easy to talk with, but hard to work with. I find myself wondering how all this looks to God. God extends grace where none is deserved, he has endless patience with our failures, and accepts us right where we are at. While I realize that this is a secular work place, my hearts greatest desire is to reflect God and his character in all that I do-- how do I balance my "worldly" responsibilities and maintain a posture that is pleasing to God? Much of this has nothing to do with me-- but most of what the administration knows of my co-worker has to come from me. Have I been fair and just-- have I simply grumbled and complained? I know that I often dont give my co-worker the direction I suspect he needs, because I am angry that he needs it. He has the degree, makes double my salary, and yet seems to be unable to plan a productive day for himself or even understand the daily flow of the work load here.

Tomorrow is Thursday--- tonight I have a dinner date with my husband and probably one of the last nights without homework that I will experience for a good long while-- so I think I need to let God deal with Thursday until it gets here, then He can help me navigate my way thru the uncertainty that I feel about it.